If you think you have become a Pretentious Road Cyclist (PRC), or have been in close contact with someone who is a PRC, use this self-assessment to determine if you need to seek care:
- You judge cyclists based on their outfit/bikes/wallet size rather than skill on the bike.
- You spend more time keeping your shoes white than actually training.
- You think stop signs don’t apply to an athlete of your calibre. @highpark cyclists.
- You nod to fellow road cyclists, completely ignore triathletes/commuters/runners/any other sharer of the road.
- Is that… Ultegra?
- You complain about not being good at Zwift racing. You use outdoor results as your evidence for why everyone who beats you online must be cheating.
- Fact- Everyone else’s power meters read high.
- You can’t look at a bike that doesn’t have a 140mm, -17 stem.
- You judge people who keep spacers under their stem. Comfort? Different ability levels or priorities? Never heard of it.
- You make good money, but refuse to buy anything from a bike shop without a pro deal.
- Is that… a frame pump?
- You judge your friends for ordering drip coffee at the cafe, or worse, wanting to stop at a Tim Hortons.
- You think wearing non-carbon-soled shoes would really result in power loss in the sprint. You also think your last name is Griepel.
- You unfollow friends on Strava who post runs in the off season. Further, you’ll comment things like “disgusting”, “why?”, or “have you lost your mind” beforehand.
- Is that… a bell on your bike? Or lights? It’s day time.
- You won’t ride with someone who doesn’t shave their legs.
- You determine how to interact with a fellow cyclist based on the length of sock they’re wearing.
- You join your local bike club, and immediately refuse to even consider the existence of a “B” group.
- In a race/hard group ride, you question everyone else for not pulling-through/attacking, but believe you’re exempt from doing so yourself.
- You refuse to unclip at stop lights, preferring it as the ideal location to practice your track stand (forgetting the cars, pedestrians, or other cyclists around you).
If any of these apply to you, or you feel attacked, this is for you. Let’s keep in mind that we choose to ride bikes for many reasons, but the majority do so to keep in shape, be social, to get from point a-to-b, or to explore. Considering the trying times that we’re going through, we can all make a better effort to be courteous to one another and not tear each other down. So if you’re out on the roads, nod or wave to other cyclists. If you’re choosing stay indoors and on the trainer, awesome, but don’t stress too much about Zwift results and what other people are doing. Remember, you’re doing this because it’s fun and it’s good exercise. And when this is all over, come join us at Morning Glory skills sessions that we host once a week. While you may think you know everything there is to know about riding a bike, even our old dogs like Ian Manning admit to learning new things about cycling from time to time.
(Written By: Jeremy Rae)